I am me.

Most of you don't know me. Most Of you don't really care to know me and that's okay. But let me tell you a little bit about me. 

I am obsessed with sports an anything to do with them. I am the oldest in my family. I am going to riverside California for my mission and I can't be more excited to leave. I'm girl crazy. I love my family and I wouldn't trade them for anything in this world. I have a lot of friends but no real or true friends. On weekends I usually just sit home and go to bed at 8:00. I'm so scared of summer because of the fact that I'll be home almost every day. I love hunting. I love fishing. I go hiking as much as I can. I LOVE living in Utah. 

This is just some of me.. If you want to know more, just ask. 

We could quit and we could try

That sun is gonna set,
Let's not let it.
Another day is gonna end,
Just don't let it.
Well that moon is gonna look down
On you and me with that old frown
Wishing we'd work things like this out
Right here, right now.

Let's not let something we'll probably laugh about tomorrow
Take us to that place, where so many who give up go
We could quit and we could try
Love can live and love can die if we let it
So let's not let it.

So we get way too mad,
Well, who hasn't?
And it won't be the last,
In time it happens.
We've gotta be tough,
Let's find out what we're made of
It's gonna rain again 
Well, so what?

We could quit and we could try
Love can live and love can die
if we let it.

So how about we don't let it?

Black lines

What about the few that rule the many?

My favorite shade of red

This is something I wrote in my journal from a few days ago. I hope some of you like it.

You hear a new song

It's your favorite 

Pretty soon you'll be changing the station

And all your old shoes are looking brand new

They wanna be worn but they never get the chance too

Heavy into everything ready for the next thing

Catch a ride for a while than you're over it

You change your mind on it as soon as the shine is gone

Like you always do 

You don't know it yet but

I'm not gonna be that easy to leave

I'm gonna make you miss me

I'm gonna make you wish you were borrowing my shirt

You lie about my jacket and tell everyone its yours

When your phone rings after midnight 

And your thinking maybe its me. 

You're cold and hot 

You burn out like a match

Keep a slipknot and the strings you attach

You think its easy 

But that's a lie

The only reason that you're good at goodbye 

Is cuz every guy you've ever met 

Was too easy to forget 

But i'm not going out like that

You'll be writing texts that you're never gonna send

Paint my favorite shade of red on your nails

Cuz you cant fall asleep

And you're wishing you were with me.

I'm gonna make you miss me.

10 steps on how to be lazy

1. Learn that if anything is worth doing, it would have been done already.
2. Never rush into a job or opportunity without a lifetime of consideration.
3. Believe that tomorrow holds the possibility for new technologies, astounding discoveries, and a reprieve from your obligations.
4. All deadlines are unreasonable regardless of the amount of time given.
5. Never forget that the possibility of a miracle, though small, is not exactly zero.
6. If at first you don't succeed, there is always next time.
7. Always decide not to decide, unless of course you change your mind.
8. Always begin, start, initiate, take the first step, and/or write the first word, when you get around to it.
9. Know that the work cycle is not plan/start/finish, but is wait/plan/plan.
10. Never put off tomorrow, what you can forget about forever.

Lost in music

Music is part of my everyday life,
it's the one thing that makes me feel alive.
No matter what it could be,
all music influences me.

Music teaches me everything I do,
After hearing the words, you know it suits you.
Without music I don't know what I would do,
when I'm feeling bad it's the only place I can go to.

Music is my life, my desire,
As I listen, it builds me higher.
No matter what kind, rock, country, or rap,
you can't convince me that any of it is crap.

Whatever you're feeling, whether its happy, sad or fear,
just turn it up and listen to what you hear.
To me music could never go wrong,
I could listen to it all day long.

Life...

This life is a wonderful gift..accept it, embrace it. 
It starts with a new day .. wake up and greet it.
Life is a challenge .. take it head on, and meet it. 
Full of opportunity .. use it?, don't waste it.

This Life is a mystery .. unfold it, solve it.
It starts with meaning .. wake up and understand it.
Life is a goal ..take it head on, and achieve it.
Full of promise ..fulfill it?, but keep it.

This life is a tragedy .. face it, except it.
It starts with pain .. wake up and help numb it.
Life is a struggle .. take it head on and fight it.
Full of sorrow .. sorry?, just over come it.

This life is precious .. hold it, treasure it,
It starts with hope .. wake up and feel it.
Life is a choice .. take it head on, and make it.
full of knowledge .. use it, don't abuse it.

This Life is adventurous .. enjoy it, explore it.
It starts with a duty .. wake up and perform it.
Life is love .. take it full on, and love it.
Full of beauty .. praise it?, and behold it.

That life is life .. live it, learn and grow
Life is good .. be good with all that you know.

You Will Never See Me Ffall

You may see me struggle 
but you won't see me fall. 
Regardless if I'm weak or not I'm going to stand tall. 
Everyone says life is easy 
but truly living it is not.
times get hard, 
people struggle
and constantly get put on the spot. 
I'm going to wear the biggest smile 
even though I want to cry. 
I'm going to fight to live 
even though I'm destined to die. 
and even though it's hard and I may struggle through it all. 
you see me struggle...you will NEVER see me fall.

Sad Chairs

All alone, Just like me...

Can I write like you?

This is a poem from an awesome new friend of mine. She is one of the best writers I know. Here is my favorite piece from her:

I realize I'm actually sad, but not wanting anyone to know that I am. I even hide it from myself, I don't like admitting it.. People think I am always happy... but "I'm Fine" hides so many lies, And I'm tired of lying.  Today I figured out that I need someone, someone to exchange secrets with, someone to eat ice cream with, someone to jam out to our favorite songs with, someone to hike to the top of the mountain to watch the sun rise, someone to drive with till the gas says empty, I need someone... I need that feeling of being happy again. I need to forget about what has happened, and move on. Though my feet may be in concrete I still have hope for getting out. I don't want to be someone who is alone, and sad all the time, I want to be outgoing, and dance in the shadow of the moon, I need someone, I need someone to laugh with, to create jokes with, to sit around and just talk with. You know that kind of person? The one you want to just be with everyday? Yea I want that. So could you please reach out for me? I'm not sure who you are... But I hope that you will grab my hand and let me know that being sad is not the answer, and maybe you can be this person? PLEASE BE MY FRIEND.  

-Indiesunshine

I'll miss you while you're gone

My whole life has been like a maze,
There may have been a dead end where
I turned.
But every time I got too close to that
fire,
You'd help me from getting burned.
I think I took you for granted,
And now God has told you soon you have
to leave.
I told you I would change,
You don't know who to believe.
But my life is like a trampoline,
I reach a high point and then I fall.
It goes really really well,
And then comes the brick wall.
But I will give you something to be
proud of,
When you're watching from above.
All I have right now,
Is lots of care and lots of love.
I may have said, I hate you,
I didn't mean a word.
But you never believed me,
Only what you heard.
You pushed me away when I needed you most,
And that hurt me so bad.
I felt as if you didn't want me around,
It made me so sad.
Not seeing you now,
Is hard enough.
But knowing soon you'll be gone,
man it's really tough.
But I understand why,
God made it happen this way.
You're one of his beautiful angels,
He wants back one day.
He sent you here,
To light up this earth.
And to show your whole family and your friends,
What life is worth.
You showed me that life,
Could be a wonderful thing.
You told me what I should do,
And what it would bring.
I'll miss you while you're gone,
You'll never leave my heart.
And from now until then,
I promise, you're missed when we're
apart.

Is there anything REALLY out there?

Looking out beyond our world

Are we all alone?

How do we find out?

Should we know?

Let me show you me

I ache with this .....
words scream out of my mouth with no meaning
no sounds compare to the things I seem to say....
I am sorry It is never as mean as It seems to be
unfortunately I can not soak up all the positivity that comes my way
....This is not me ... anger does not fill these young veins...
Hatred should not live in my heart..
Never should I have endured this pitiful feeling
...This feeling that holds me back so much....
with wild acts of my virtue I open my arms because no one knows the truth .....

so let me show you me!!!!!

I sing because I love to .... I write because i enjoy it,
I love too easy and I forgive others before I forgive myself...
I hate not knowing what the future brings yet it spikes my curiosity ....
I get shy but never for too long ... I want others to feel my difference
I seek the diversity in life and I embrace all that meets my face..

I am sorry those of you who do not know me ...but
life never ends and there is plenty of time for all too see the reality of it all....
Let me smile for every reason and not just one
Let me speak with out hesitation in my voice
Let me be who I am without judgment of our cruel society.
Let me yell out loud and have all join me because we are all one.....
So put this past behind and look forward to what tomorrow has to offer...

dreams

I sleep in the clouds, dream in the sky,
I'll keep dreaming as life passes me by,
I think my dreams keep me sane,
I dream of happiness, a life without pain,
some people say I'm stuck in this place,
and I'll never go anywhere,
but in my dreams I've already been there,
I know some day I'll have to wake up,
but I feel the real world is more like a nightmare,
I'm safe in my closed eye wonderland,
this poem goes to all the dreamers that understand,
no matter what they say...
keep your dreams but don't dream your life away.

Country Again

Goodbye in Her Eyes- Zac Brown Band

Hesitation when she smiled
She didn't have to say a word
It was just so plain to see
She had found what she'd been looking for
And I knew it wasn't me

I saw goodbye in her eyes
I don't think I can change it
There's no way to disguise
We will never make it

Sometimes I feel like a clown
Who can't wash off his make-up
The life she wanted ‒ it was gone
Prince Charming ‒ I wasn't
But I would trade a thousand Babylons
To be in her arms tomorrow
Oh, but like the tide her love has come and gone
And it's time for me to go

Must Be Doing Something Right-Billy Currington

A woman is mystery
A man just can't understand
Sometimes all it takes to please her
Is the touch of your hand
And other times you gotta take it slow
And hold her all night long
Heaven knows there's so many ways
A man can go wrong

Must be doin' something right
I just heard you sigh
You leaned into my kiss
And closed those deep blue need you eyes
Don't know what I did
To earn a love like this, but baby, I
Must be doin' something right

Anywhere you wanna go 
Baby, show me the way
I'm open to suggestions
Mmm, whatever you say
Tonight's about giving you
What you want, whatever it takes
Girl, I hope I'm on the right road
And judging by the smile on your face

Whatever it is- Zac Brown Band

She's got eyes that cut you like a
Knife and lips that taste like sweet red wine
And her pretty legs go to heaven every time
She got a gentle way that puts me at ease
When she walks in a room I can hardly breathe
Got a devastating smile knock a grown man to his knees

She's got whatever it is
It blows me away
She's everything I want to say to a woman
But I couldn't find the words to say
She's got whatever it is
I don't know what to do
And every time I try and tell her how I feel
it comes out "I love you"
You got whatever it is

Bait a Hook-Justin Moore

Has he kissed you in a hay field as the summer rain falls down?
Has he took you to meet his mama, back in his home town?
Does he drive the interstate, or does he take them old back roads?
Can he melt your heart with a country song, every good old boy should know?
I didn't think so...

He can't even bait a hook
He can't even skin a buck
He ain't ever drove a truck
Knows how to throw out a line,
But not the kind in a field and stream book
No darlin' I ain't even worried, you'll come runnin' back
He can't even bait a hook.

It won't be that long, 'til you start gettin' bored
I'll be smilin' on the river, reelin' in one more...

The Trouble With Girls-Scotty McCreery 

The trouble with girls is they’re a mystery
Something about ’em puzzles me
Spent my whole life trying to figure out
Just what them girls are all about
The trouble with girls is they're so dang pretty
Everything about ’em does something to me
But I guess that’s the way it’s supposed to be

They smile, that smile
They bat those eyes
They steal you with "hello"
They kill you with "goodbye"
They hook you with one touch and you can’t break free
Yeah, the trouble with girls is nobody loves trouble as much as me

They’re sugar and spice and angel wings
And hell on wheels and tight blue jeans
A summer night, down by the lake
An old memory that you can’t shake
They’re hard to find, yet there’s so many of ’em
The way that you hate, that you already love ’em
But I guess that’s the way it’s supposed to be

Who you'd be Today

Could you imagine a pain so deep down inside

That it can not be summarized in words you simply can write


A pain that touches your toes and up to the top of the ceiling


You can’t eat, you can’t sleep, that is the pain that I am feeling


But my father raised a boy that can stand on his own


But these different circumstances has got me feeling alone


All the doctors and the nurses say you’re dead and you’re gone


But it still feels like I could talk to you if I picked up the phone


You can’t fix a broken window you just replace the pane.


But there is no pain great enough to replace your face


With my eyes matted shut from the tears that I slept on


I thank God for the pictures and your voice on my cell phone.


But please, while you are awed in the mist of the Lord


Don’t forget all your friends and time spent on this world.


I will never have a friend like you again.


My heart is a vault now, I’m scared to let people in.


No matter how many oceans or rivers I cry


My heart will never let you go, I’ll never say good bye.


A lot of my hours are now spent in the place where you lay


As I sit crying, wondering, who would you be today.

Courage Triumphs Fear

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” 


― Nelson Mandela

What you really fear is inside yourself. You fear your own power. You fear your anger, the drive to do great or terrible things.

- Henri Duncard, Batman Begins

“I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.” 


― Woody Allen

“Without fear there cannot be courage.” 


― Christopher Paolini


Fear will always be around us. There is no way to avoid it. But it's how we come face to face with it. It's how we choose to act on the feeling of fear. Fear either makes us succeed or fail. That is up to us.

Country Must be Country Wide

As you have seen in my Intro, I am a huge country music fan. It's a type of music that has great and inspiring messages. Country music ranges from talking about a girl that you can't live without to great memories with friends to the songs about partying and drinking. I have some songs and some key lines from each of these songs:

Riser- Dierks Bentley "I'm a riser, i'm a get up off the ground old running hider. Push and comes to shove hey I'm a fighter. Darkness comes to town, hey I'm a lighter, but get out aliver, a survivor."

Something More- Scotty McCreery "a mama's love even when she don't approve, four generations sittin' on the same church pew, A soldier's first steps back through his own front door Yeah, something that means something more" 

We Weren't Crazy-Josh Gracin "We were young, we were wild, we were restless Had to go, had to fly, had to get away Took a chance on that feelin, baby We were lovin blind, borderline reckless We were livin for the minute we were spinnin in Maybe we were a lot of things But we weren't crazy"

 Cut me some slack- Chris Janson "I wish you'd give me the green light
Give me just one night
Girl, if you don't like how I roll
You can say no thanks, don't ever call me
Forget you ever saw me, forget my name.
Girl you might just like some county road moonlight
Dancing in the lights of my headache rack.
Think about that, yeah think about that.
Is there any chance you could cut me some slack?"

Look at my Truck- Chase Rice "Got some dents, got some dings, been my best friend since I was 16. Baptized in dirty water, handed down to me by my father. if ya wanna know, wanna know what i'm made of, just look at my truck.'' 

You're Gonna Miss This -Trace Adkins "You're gonna miss this, You're gonna want this back, you're gonna wish these days, hadn't gone by so fast, these are some good times. So take a good look around, you may not know this now, but you're gonna miss this."

All of these songs that I have a huge part in my life, whether its about memories to a girl, these all mean a ton to me. I could honestly give out hundreds more songs, but I don't think any of you would want to read that much. If you do want more though just comment!!!

Well this is me...

Hello As you can see, my pen name is Barney Stinson. the reason i chose him is because the change that he shows in himself throughout the series. Right now the same thing applies to me. Throughout the beginning of this class i have been what we call a tourist. Now after seeing a lot of the time and thought and meaning that is going onto these blogs and journals i decided to do that myself.

Some of my likes are sports, music, girls, hanging out with friends, family, warm weather, and having fun. I really like pretty much every sport. My favorite kind of music is Country. The reason i like it so much is because of the tone and the message that most songs portray. A lot of the songs are about making memories and looking back on the memories on the ones you have made in your life. Other ones are love songs or saying sorry to those who they've hurt. I'm so obsessed with country you could give me a line from a song and i can name the artist and the song.

I'm the kind of person that would give anything and everything to help somebody out. no matter who they are or what they have done to me. i just feel like that's the way I need to live and that's how i'll always live it. So if any of you need anything just ask Barney!!